It was cold, as I tried to pull the quilt over my head. Daylight from the half open window filtered through my eyelids; I closed my eyes desperately trying to go back to the colored dream that was still floating in front of my eyes. Soon the buzzer of the only smart thing I owned made me realize that it's the time to start another day! I scrolled through the calender to look for the events of the day with one and a half eye, daily calls, the team meeting, birthday celebration of the guy in our team I hardly spoke to in the time of one year, but wait, I could not find any, soon to realize that it was a Saturday. But one event darted through my mind, the game at the billiards club that I said yes to the other night, shit! What is the time? It was 5:30 pm. Pushing the girl to the side of the bed, who seemed to be feathery today, I got up and my feet landed on something softer than I had expected. Shit! Was this the girl from yesterday night I pushed out of my bed? Only to realize with my eyes wide open by now that it were the pillows who took my harsh attitude towards people who lay over me while sleeping.
Now that I was out of it, I desperately was looking for something. I tried getting up. I could not. My throat was dry and the breath was foul. I tried again, my head spinning, I reached the ashtray. With my hands shaking and eyes closed, I filled my chest with the drag, long enough to straighten me up for the time being.
'Hey, it's the half left drag that I stubbed out last night, but why did I?' I asked myself.
I stepped back and crushed the disposable under my feet. The scotch bottle lying by it's side seemed to be more wobbly than me; it seems it had two along with me, and lay aside, open. The whirling single malt in my stomach took over me and I sank on the cushion,
'Ouch', just to realize that it was a beer can my crack landed on!
'It's not the brand I booze.. on... ', suddenly, it caught my eye, the wasted rubber pack and the rubber, lying under the window, but it did not contain any traces of my seeds in it!
'What the hell in the name of the holy mother is going on?', I asked myself.
Confused, distressed, petrified, going motionless, my fingers embraced the neck of the bottle; I could not stop kissing it and the fluid coming out of it slid through my throat sending jitters through my mind, but it was not the colored water but the thoughts that sent shivers through my spine.
'Why the **** did I join this ****ing job, why did I say yes to it?', whispered the calm and humble Sarika, to herself. The manager was sitting in the bay behind to us, last was her seat, enough to hear all the murmurings that we did. But that was enough for my attention to be drawn towards her clenched fist and her red face. The customer, she was on the call with, had said enough to give her a bad day and a good one to me.
'Coffee?' was my message to her on the chat. The shift was almost over.
She looked at me, as if I had asked a Hindu to have beef.. But the deep sigh and a sweet smile in a while told me everything. I locked my idiot box and with the smarter thing in my hand and my access cards, ran towards the door in the anticipation that she is going to follow me, which she did, eventually.
'Anna, one by two coffee, less sugar' was my call, which the pot bellied, bald 'Seth' complied to, with a smile; but wait, I am used to this coffee and not the smile. I turned to find that Sarika was behind me, with her perfect body clad in the slawar. Her chunri was just covering her bosoms. No one can stop that smile as to she is the girl they see in Jeans and top and the fancy bracelets, anklets and shoes she sports to the office often.
'My lucky day', I told myself as I approached her, 'You okey?', I asked her, to which she gently nodded, with a smile.
'This job sucks, doesn't it?'. I looked in her eyes. They were looking somewhere else and the dam of water filling in those big eyes, outlined in kajal, making it look bigger, was about to explode, enough to rip through any heart and ravage any soul. 'Moment to strike!' I told myself and grabbed her hand only to draw her attention towards me, and sipping thorough the coffee mug asked her 'Want a drag?'.
'I would love to', was her answer. I knew she loved it. Without another thought, we got up, with the styrofoam cup in our hands, walked towards the dark corner of the parking.
'Shhhhhh...' The drag was long enough... 'I hate my manager'.
'So do I!', were the words that came out of my mouth instantly, apart from the smell of thousand smokes, cannabis. She smiled and uttered with a much more relaxed gaze towards me, 'You lucky bastard', passing on the drag to me.
The flickering tube light of the parking lot made her come and go from the view, only making her more illusive as she was to our other team mates, localities, who would even go to parties with the permission of their parents. I don't know if she was attracted to my stout body or the always available stock of drags and drinks where ever I go, but, Sarika, being one of those localities, came close to me that day, and asked me, 'Do you have something to drink?'. My answer was 'Yes'. She was hot enough than my ugly team mates to motivate me to reach out to my pocket to pull out the travel can containing my brand of scotch. I offered it to her, which she took in her hands than the one that I had offered her in the annual party which she rejected asking 'Do I know you?'.
'Aahhh...' came out of her mouth as she drank it; her trip had begun! I held her hand instead of the can and pulled her towards me hard and fast, with no resistance. Our heart was beating against each other; her arms reaching my shoulders and loosening as I grip her hard, harder. I reached effective length as always, just that she was in my arms today, and by now and we really broke the barrier; we came closer by the coarse of time after that annual party. I placed my lips against hers.. Our tongues dancing against each others, this moment seemed to last for ever, when the vibration of the other smarter thing broke the kiss. She, stumbling on her feet as I released her all of a sudden, fumbling in her side pack to discover her fiancee was calling.
This broke the spell, as she bid me farewell in a hurry and rushed to the main gate to get into the BMW 520, her man was riding. Frustrated, I emptied my can full of scotch into my stomach, feeling nothing either than rage, anger and with a hard on! Getting her to my apartment tonight and ravish her, was the dream which was shattered into pieces.
It was my turn to fumble and look into my pockets to find the packet, roll and light the pot, just to stand straight for the time being. The smoke took over me and I started to gather the shattered pieces of me. Soon the vibration reminded me that I had a pool game to join.
'7-1, hah!', shouted my mate, pointing the beer bottle towards me. A smile was all that I could convey in reply.
'Let's go for a smoke', I asked.
'Another drink for you brother', asked the bar girl with her usual charming smile as I puffed. That smile reminded me of Sarika and the view of her in the mini skirt, where in her assets making me feel same as to a mountaineer feeling to climb the Mount and win it.
'One more, please', 'One more, please' was all that I could remember before I left that pool club.
Going out in different direction, I took a taxi to the most vivid place in my city.
By vivid, I meant, colorful, tangy and rather creepy for a normal tourist to our country; it was a dance bar. The bar girl offered me a drink 'Kya lenge aap aaj?'(what would you like to have today), to which I replied to, 'Scotch, on the rocks'! With a smile, she turned, reminding me of Sarika, once again.
'What the hell, my hard on does not seem to fade away!' I told to myself, with a grim smile, of the thought that was coming already to my mind, the paradise!
The paradise of all the lovers who seem to find endless lovers once they set out to choose from them.
'Repeat...', 'Repeat...'. I could not stop rolling a drag for myself and light it beside the toilet smelling like one of the 'muthari', the local loo, sending me to the cloud 10, yes, one higher than most of you were taken to. Midst the loud bangs of the bar beating through my ears, something tore my ears, the bar man asked me, 'Sir...', 'Sir......',
'Mmmmmhhhhhh...', was my reply.
'Sir,why don't you order a bottle? It would cost cheaper!'. I was three pegs down already!
'Yes', I what I said and withing moments, and I got the bottle of scotch in front of me. Soon the bar girls, asking money for each dance they do infront of me, was tearing me off. Next what I had decided took me off my feet. 'F*** you' was what I thought, grabbed the bottle and left, for the paradise!
Landing on the paradise was just the beginning, but did not come very good to me. By the time I reached there, I had completely lost my self. 'Why am I here?', I asked myself. But I had lost all the power to think by now as to what made me decide to come here. After all I was 8 pegs down and the drags were countless by now.
In the crowded lane, my bottle clenched close to my chest, stumbling and rubbing my body through all the others, smothered in all different kind of perfumes and 'ittars', I walked.
After a while, I could hardly walk, so sat on the side walk.
Two fairy of the paradise were sitting by there close to me. 'You girls free tonight?', I asked them. 'I'll take both of you home'. Not by looking at my clothes, my hat and my Puma shoes, but my confidence in talking to them, anyone could tell that I had become a regular customer there.
'Do you have money?' asked one of the girl me. Their plump bodies and texture could be of no comparison the girl whose face flashed infront of my eyes but was enough to fan the fire already burning in me.
'I'll show you how much I have', I got up heading towards the ATM. As I neared one, a sweet smell drew me towards it. It was the same sweet smell I was addicted to since the last decade.
'Can I have a drag?', these were the last words I could remember.
'Hey buddy, did you not have a girl till now?', this short person was pushing me awake as I sit motionless by the side of the pan shop. I looked at my Tommy, it was 5 am in the morning. He helped me get up and said, 'Come, a beautiful one is waiting for you' and pulled me inside another lane. I still had the bottle in my hand.
'Here she is.', he to said me, as I looked at her. She was short, wearing a red one piece. Age was dripping through her lower chin and the dark circles around her eyes.
'Taxi', she shouted and we got into it. Next thing I could remember was paying up the taxi three times more than usual.We entered our apartment.
Reaching my room, I grabbed her hand and turning her around threw and pinned her against the bed.
'Wait', as she gently lay her palm against my chest and slid under me. She un-tied her locks and pulled out a beer can and winking at me started sipping from it. As if that drink was an energy drink, she drank it in one go and threw it on the bed, which soon disappeared between the sleeves of the bed sheet. The AC had cooled the room by now and I pulled my quilt over me. The joint I had rolled already, was lying near the ashrtay which I had rolled and forgot to light, was calling me to put it on fire. Without thinking much, I took a drag, a long one!
Suddenly, under the quilt, climbing over me, she said 'Do it to me'. Stubbing the drag and reaching for the packet, I pulled out the rubber from the packet and put in on my manhood, throwing the packet behind me, aiming for the window. I was too stoned to figure out her face but the one that flashed infront me was of hers. Tired and trying many times, I went limp time and again.
'Do you have AIDS?', to which nodded in negation. I reached out for the rubber and pulled it out, and aiming for the window again I flung it behind me. As the coupling happned again, I was hard and harder this time.
It was quick, as quick as the bee sits over a flower and leaves it.
'I have to go', were the last words that I could remember before falling numb.
It was cold, as I tried to pull the quilt over my head. Daylight from the half open window filtered through my eyelids; I closed my eyes desperately trying to go back to the colored dream that was still floating in front of my eyes. Soon the buzzer of the only smart thing I owned made me realize that it's the time to start another day! I scrolled through the calender to look for the events of the day with one and a half eye. Daily calls, the team meeting, birthday celebration of the guy in our team I hardly spoke to in the time of one year but wait, I could not find any, soon to realize that it was a Saturday.
'God, that was hell of a dream', I said to myself.
I reached out for my pack of smokes and just before I could light it, the scenes from the dream tickled my brain. Had it been a real night, 'Huh!'. But it is nothing that cannot happen, my one and a half decade long pot habit and my drinking problem, which are a part of my lifestyle now could make this happen anytime!
Thinking, I looked at the pack of smokes and the warning over the pack 'Smoking Kills' was intriguing enough to look for it's ill effects for the next couple of hours. Without thinking that whether drinking is harmful or not, I kept on looking at the pack of smokes for the next couple of hours, not smoking a single stick or a beer to quench my thirst that was raising due to the thoughts that were hammering each nerve of my brain.
Then, suddenly, I got up looking at the pack of smokes and said to myself 'I quit... Can I?'
Now that I was out of it, I desperately was looking for something. I tried getting up. I could not. My throat was dry and the breath was foul. I tried again, my head spinning, I reached the ashtray. With my hands shaking and eyes closed, I filled my chest with the drag, long enough to straighten me up for the time being.
'Hey, it's the half left drag that I stubbed out last night, but why did I?' I asked myself.
I stepped back and crushed the disposable under my feet. The scotch bottle lying by it's side seemed to be more wobbly than me; it seems it had two along with me, and lay aside, open. The whirling single malt in my stomach took over me and I sank on the cushion,
'Ouch', just to realize that it was a beer can my crack landed on!
'It's not the brand I booze.. on... ', suddenly, it caught my eye, the wasted rubber pack and the rubber, lying under the window, but it did not contain any traces of my seeds in it!
'What the hell in the name of the holy mother is going on?', I asked myself.
Confused, distressed, petrified, going motionless, my fingers embraced the neck of the bottle; I could not stop kissing it and the fluid coming out of it slid through my throat sending jitters through my mind, but it was not the colored water but the thoughts that sent shivers through my spine.
'Why the **** did I join this ****ing job, why did I say yes to it?', whispered the calm and humble Sarika, to herself. The manager was sitting in the bay behind to us, last was her seat, enough to hear all the murmurings that we did. But that was enough for my attention to be drawn towards her clenched fist and her red face. The customer, she was on the call with, had said enough to give her a bad day and a good one to me.
'Coffee?' was my message to her on the chat. The shift was almost over.
She looked at me, as if I had asked a Hindu to have beef.. But the deep sigh and a sweet smile in a while told me everything. I locked my idiot box and with the smarter thing in my hand and my access cards, ran towards the door in the anticipation that she is going to follow me, which she did, eventually.
'Anna, one by two coffee, less sugar' was my call, which the pot bellied, bald 'Seth' complied to, with a smile; but wait, I am used to this coffee and not the smile. I turned to find that Sarika was behind me, with her perfect body clad in the slawar. Her chunri was just covering her bosoms. No one can stop that smile as to she is the girl they see in Jeans and top and the fancy bracelets, anklets and shoes she sports to the office often.
'My lucky day', I told myself as I approached her, 'You okey?', I asked her, to which she gently nodded, with a smile.
'This job sucks, doesn't it?'. I looked in her eyes. They were looking somewhere else and the dam of water filling in those big eyes, outlined in kajal, making it look bigger, was about to explode, enough to rip through any heart and ravage any soul. 'Moment to strike!' I told myself and grabbed her hand only to draw her attention towards me, and sipping thorough the coffee mug asked her 'Want a drag?'.
'I would love to', was her answer. I knew she loved it. Without another thought, we got up, with the styrofoam cup in our hands, walked towards the dark corner of the parking.
'Shhhhhh...' The drag was long enough... 'I hate my manager'.
'So do I!', were the words that came out of my mouth instantly, apart from the smell of thousand smokes, cannabis. She smiled and uttered with a much more relaxed gaze towards me, 'You lucky bastard', passing on the drag to me.
The flickering tube light of the parking lot made her come and go from the view, only making her more illusive as she was to our other team mates, localities, who would even go to parties with the permission of their parents. I don't know if she was attracted to my stout body or the always available stock of drags and drinks where ever I go, but, Sarika, being one of those localities, came close to me that day, and asked me, 'Do you have something to drink?'. My answer was 'Yes'. She was hot enough than my ugly team mates to motivate me to reach out to my pocket to pull out the travel can containing my brand of scotch. I offered it to her, which she took in her hands than the one that I had offered her in the annual party which she rejected asking 'Do I know you?'.
'Aahhh...' came out of her mouth as she drank it; her trip had begun! I held her hand instead of the can and pulled her towards me hard and fast, with no resistance. Our heart was beating against each other; her arms reaching my shoulders and loosening as I grip her hard, harder. I reached effective length as always, just that she was in my arms today, and by now and we really broke the barrier; we came closer by the coarse of time after that annual party. I placed my lips against hers.. Our tongues dancing against each others, this moment seemed to last for ever, when the vibration of the other smarter thing broke the kiss. She, stumbling on her feet as I released her all of a sudden, fumbling in her side pack to discover her fiancee was calling.
This broke the spell, as she bid me farewell in a hurry and rushed to the main gate to get into the BMW 520, her man was riding. Frustrated, I emptied my can full of scotch into my stomach, feeling nothing either than rage, anger and with a hard on! Getting her to my apartment tonight and ravish her, was the dream which was shattered into pieces.
It was my turn to fumble and look into my pockets to find the packet, roll and light the pot, just to stand straight for the time being. The smoke took over me and I started to gather the shattered pieces of me. Soon the vibration reminded me that I had a pool game to join.
'7-1, hah!', shouted my mate, pointing the beer bottle towards me. A smile was all that I could convey in reply.
'Let's go for a smoke', I asked.
'Another drink for you brother', asked the bar girl with her usual charming smile as I puffed. That smile reminded me of Sarika and the view of her in the mini skirt, where in her assets making me feel same as to a mountaineer feeling to climb the Mount and win it.
'One more, please', 'One more, please' was all that I could remember before I left that pool club.
Going out in different direction, I took a taxi to the most vivid place in my city.
By vivid, I meant, colorful, tangy and rather creepy for a normal tourist to our country; it was a dance bar. The bar girl offered me a drink 'Kya lenge aap aaj?'(what would you like to have today), to which I replied to, 'Scotch, on the rocks'! With a smile, she turned, reminding me of Sarika, once again.
'What the hell, my hard on does not seem to fade away!' I told to myself, with a grim smile, of the thought that was coming already to my mind, the paradise!
The paradise of all the lovers who seem to find endless lovers once they set out to choose from them.
'Repeat...', 'Repeat...'. I could not stop rolling a drag for myself and light it beside the toilet smelling like one of the 'muthari', the local loo, sending me to the cloud 10, yes, one higher than most of you were taken to. Midst the loud bangs of the bar beating through my ears, something tore my ears, the bar man asked me, 'Sir...', 'Sir......',
'Mmmmmhhhhhh...', was my reply.
'Sir,why don't you order a bottle? It would cost cheaper!'. I was three pegs down already!
'Yes', I what I said and withing moments, and I got the bottle of scotch in front of me. Soon the bar girls, asking money for each dance they do infront of me, was tearing me off. Next what I had decided took me off my feet. 'F*** you' was what I thought, grabbed the bottle and left, for the paradise!
Landing on the paradise was just the beginning, but did not come very good to me. By the time I reached there, I had completely lost my self. 'Why am I here?', I asked myself. But I had lost all the power to think by now as to what made me decide to come here. After all I was 8 pegs down and the drags were countless by now.
In the crowded lane, my bottle clenched close to my chest, stumbling and rubbing my body through all the others, smothered in all different kind of perfumes and 'ittars', I walked.
After a while, I could hardly walk, so sat on the side walk.
Two fairy of the paradise were sitting by there close to me. 'You girls free tonight?', I asked them. 'I'll take both of you home'. Not by looking at my clothes, my hat and my Puma shoes, but my confidence in talking to them, anyone could tell that I had become a regular customer there.
'Do you have money?' asked one of the girl me. Their plump bodies and texture could be of no comparison the girl whose face flashed infront of my eyes but was enough to fan the fire already burning in me.
'I'll show you how much I have', I got up heading towards the ATM. As I neared one, a sweet smell drew me towards it. It was the same sweet smell I was addicted to since the last decade.
'Can I have a drag?', these were the last words I could remember.
'Hey buddy, did you not have a girl till now?', this short person was pushing me awake as I sit motionless by the side of the pan shop. I looked at my Tommy, it was 5 am in the morning. He helped me get up and said, 'Come, a beautiful one is waiting for you' and pulled me inside another lane. I still had the bottle in my hand.
'Here she is.', he to said me, as I looked at her. She was short, wearing a red one piece. Age was dripping through her lower chin and the dark circles around her eyes.
'Taxi', she shouted and we got into it. Next thing I could remember was paying up the taxi three times more than usual.We entered our apartment.
Reaching my room, I grabbed her hand and turning her around threw and pinned her against the bed.
'Wait', as she gently lay her palm against my chest and slid under me. She un-tied her locks and pulled out a beer can and winking at me started sipping from it. As if that drink was an energy drink, she drank it in one go and threw it on the bed, which soon disappeared between the sleeves of the bed sheet. The AC had cooled the room by now and I pulled my quilt over me. The joint I had rolled already, was lying near the ashrtay which I had rolled and forgot to light, was calling me to put it on fire. Without thinking much, I took a drag, a long one!
Suddenly, under the quilt, climbing over me, she said 'Do it to me'. Stubbing the drag and reaching for the packet, I pulled out the rubber from the packet and put in on my manhood, throwing the packet behind me, aiming for the window. I was too stoned to figure out her face but the one that flashed infront me was of hers. Tired and trying many times, I went limp time and again.
'Do you have AIDS?', to which nodded in negation. I reached out for the rubber and pulled it out, and aiming for the window again I flung it behind me. As the coupling happned again, I was hard and harder this time.
It was quick, as quick as the bee sits over a flower and leaves it.
'I have to go', were the last words that I could remember before falling numb.
It was cold, as I tried to pull the quilt over my head. Daylight from the half open window filtered through my eyelids; I closed my eyes desperately trying to go back to the colored dream that was still floating in front of my eyes. Soon the buzzer of the only smart thing I owned made me realize that it's the time to start another day! I scrolled through the calender to look for the events of the day with one and a half eye. Daily calls, the team meeting, birthday celebration of the guy in our team I hardly spoke to in the time of one year but wait, I could not find any, soon to realize that it was a Saturday.
'God, that was hell of a dream', I said to myself.
I reached out for my pack of smokes and just before I could light it, the scenes from the dream tickled my brain. Had it been a real night, 'Huh!'. But it is nothing that cannot happen, my one and a half decade long pot habit and my drinking problem, which are a part of my lifestyle now could make this happen anytime!
Thinking, I looked at the pack of smokes and the warning over the pack 'Smoking Kills' was intriguing enough to look for it's ill effects for the next couple of hours. Without thinking that whether drinking is harmful or not, I kept on looking at the pack of smokes for the next couple of hours, not smoking a single stick or a beer to quench my thirst that was raising due to the thoughts that were hammering each nerve of my brain.
Then, suddenly, I got up looking at the pack of smokes and said to myself 'I quit... Can I?'
